Emotions Are Not Always Your Friends


August 1, 2011 by Heather Harris

It’s hard, when you are full of passion, not to let your emotions control you.  I can tell you it is a struggle for me. Even though I tend to be more of a thinker than a feeler, when I do let my emotions go, I let them go completely wild, and it almost always lands me in trouble. Reining in emotions that are left to their own devices can be quite difficult to do, especially when they’ve already done damage.

The key to doing so is balance. It is good to reign emotions in with logic, which is normally what I do, but it is also good to let out a healthy amount of emotion every so often as well. Keeping emotions bottled inside ultimately leads to eruptions of said emotions, which then lead to destruction, both personally and in relationships with others.  Emotions in small doses are much more easily controlled than when they are let out in huge explosions.

Sadly, I’ve had to learn this the hard way too many times.  I’ve had multiple breakups in reaction to my lack of emotional control, as well as many arguments with both family and friends that have led to damaged relationships.  Emotions are not always your friends.  In fact many times they are the complete opposite.  They’re destructive and wild. They need to be controlled by you, rather than the other way around.  The problem is that this is so much more easily said than done because when emotions hit us, our natural reaction is to let them do the talking, but we need to learn to stand up to them and say no, just as we need to do with the other natural desires of our body that will only lead us down the path of personal destruction.


10 thoughts on “Emotions Are Not Always Your Friends

  1. moonchild11 says:

    I agree! I’m a pretty balanced thinker/feeler, so I alternate between letting my feeler side control me and letting my thinker side control me. I think both are dangerous- emotions can be dangerous when they go wild like you said. And thinker tendencies can be dangerous too because they tend to make me unempathetic and bitter. So, yay for balance!

  2. hrh413 says:

    Yes. Same here. Balance is the key to solving a lot of problems in life.

  3. I agree. I locked emotion away for a long, long, long time taking refuge in intellect. God wants us whole, not with a third locked away. So, in trying to open that door and let ’em out….Well not so pretty all the time, because emotionally my maturity level was that of a 8 year old (back when I started shutting that door.) Sometimes it is very hard to rein them in. And it cost me my last relationship because immature emotions can be very needy, so needy it pushes the mature away.

  4. heather says:

    Why are we so often going through the same things? Thanks! :.)

  5. Stitch says:

    Moonchild – same here (about the balanced thinker / feeler). I’m just now after almost 2 years of marriage allowing myself to be emotional in my marriage – I’ve spent most of this time stuffing my feelings down (until they explode…poor Gary) and trying to be the strong somber one. I’m learning that if I let out what I feel a little at a time, it’s neither destructive nor explosive. Great post!

    • hrh413 says:

      I’ve done the same thing with my boyfriend of 3 years (on and off). I bottle things up trying to be the strong one and then I just end up exploding and hurting our relationship instead of letting myself feel things in smaller doses. A fight with him is actually what sparked the idea for this post (poor Dan).

  6. Sam Kee says:

    So true! Our emotions can get the best of us. What do you think about this…and maybe this is an idea for another blog that you can do…instead of seeking to “control” your emotions, what if you “aligned” your emotions? Align them with/toward a higher purpose, like God’s will, for example. I’m not sure if I’m being clear, but maybe that’s an area for you to explore. Thanks!

    • hrh413 says:

      Sam, that actually makes a lot of sense. I hadn’t thought about it that way. Hmm…that definitely does give me an idea for another blog post. Stay tuned!

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