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Another Conversation

5

September 19, 2011 by Heather Harris

Me: God, I can’t do this. Being transparent, being honest about my sins is too hard. It’s one thing with You. I know You will always love and forgive me, but there are others who would condemn me. There are others whose faith in me would be lost. There are others who would reject me for the sins I have repented of. I can’t bear the judgement. I can’t bear disappointing the people I love…

God: You can do all things with Me by your side. Lean on my strength. I will carry you through this.

Me: But why are You asking me to do this?

God: Shining the light of truth on your sins is never easy, but it is necessary to bring you healing.  Have you not asked me to heal you?

Me: Yes, God, but I was hoping we could just patch this all up just between You and me.

God: Do you not want others to see the wonder I have worked and am still working in you? Do you not want to point others to me, to help others heal as well?

Me: I do, God, but could I do so without bearing my naked soul and becoming so completely vulnerable? I don’t like it. It’s not safe. It’s not stable.

God: Was it safe or stable for my Son to be beaten, torn, and crucified for your sake? For My sake, would you not go through much less?

Me: For You, Lord, I will…Please just don’t leave me here alone…

God: Dear one, I never have, and I never will.

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5 thoughts on “Another Conversation

  1. You are doing a good thing, a courageous thing in bearing your soul for all to see. I am sure that there are those who will be helped through your efforts, who will find encouragement.

    As for condemnation, no matter what you do there will be those who will condemn. You are in good company.

  2. Stitch says:

    I think you’ve been eavesdropping on my conversations with God lately. Man. Geez. This is EXACTLY why I’m so scared of keeping writing my story. You’re not alone. Promise.

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